I am a horrible blogger

Yeah, way behind.

As for weigh ins - well I'm back to 219.5 as of Thursday. I haven't tracked in weeks. I haven't been making good choices every day. I'm slacking bad.

But.. Wedding is in 5 short short days! Once that is all over with and I'm not such a ball of stress I WILL get back on track! I'm hoping to join the rec center in Jefferson as well and start working out. I don't want to regress too far.. I really don't. It's just been so hard under so much stress.

As for wedding things - everything is going pretty smoothly. Just found out that there's going to be a possible thunderstorm day of.. Meaning we can't have the barn wedding! Luckily their is a church on the grounds so it wont be too big of a deal. If anything it will be less stressfull having it in the church. Don't have to set up chairs, won't be too hot. Theres more room for our guests.. ext. Trying to keep my mind of the bright side of things, even tho I really had my heart set on that barn!

Well that's it for now! Next time I update I'll be MRS. ASHLEY MARIE VOEGE

Weigh in Thursday.. a lil late..

Yeah, okay. Kind of got behind there... It's Monday and I weighed in Thursday. Good news is I lost the pound I gained!! But that's about it. One pound again. For some reason it's been so hard to stay on track now! It seems like once I feel off the band wagon I just can't get on 100% like I was in the beginning. Maybe it's the fact that I don't have big numbers anymore.. Maybe it's the stress.. But either way I have got to get going again. Less than 5 weeks now to the wedding. Originally I had hoped to meet my first goal by then- to be under 200. But right now that means I'd have to lose at least 18lbs. I have 4 weigh-ins left and it doesn't seem probable.

I have decided however that I need to begin phase 2 - Working Out. I have several friends doing Insanity.. But going from ZERO fitness I don't even want to go there! I have heard about various
'couch to 5k' programs and such and just need to bite the bullet and get something started. My friend Heather has advised a Jillian Michaels DVD program as well. I know I want something that I can do at home. I have always had self image problems and I honestly can't handle being 'the fat girl at the gym' or 'the fat girl running around the block'. I know I want to start walking every night - but I am even scared to do that without people mocking me in their head. Do I honestly think that everyone is going to be staring at me walking down the street? No... Well.. Yes. I just know that as soon as I see a set of eyes on me I will want to run home and never leave again.

Anyways - Everything else in life is going alright. I have about reached my boiling point with Hyvee, but I need to stick it out even if it's just my part time job. I'm hoping to transfer to Carroll. Matt and I are still waiting to hear back from the underwriters of the home loan to know if we're moving to Jefferson for sure - but if we are they are building a Hyvee out there and it's something I could hopefully transfer to. Wedding plans are going well and we're starting to pull everything together. Mom got all the mason jars decorated this weekend and there are currently clothes lines running in my living room airing out the burlap sacks (THEY STINK!)

This weekend is my bachelorette party which has made me realize how few friends I have anymore. My friend and bridesmaid Heather is planning it, and also the only other guest besides me. My other friend/bridesmaid is unable to make it, and my Matron of Honor is in Utah. I have realized I really have made no friends out here in the 10 months I've been out here, besides of Amanda. I made very few friends out in Emmetsburg either, and I was there for 2 years. Even the 3 years I spent out in Utah left me with just a couple of friends that I am still in contact with. I am just not a social person.. I know that my self consciousness plays a lot into that. I just really don't know how an adult is supposed to go out and make friends! It's not as easy as high school.. Not that I had many friend then either!

Cystic Fibrosis Facts..

Here are some facts and statistics I've collected over the last few days..

Every year, 1,000 children with cystic fibrosis (CF) are born in the United States. One in 3,000 Caucasian babies have the disorder, making CF one of the most common lethal genetic diseases in Caucasians. Overall, there are 30,000 Americans with CF, and an estimated 8 million people carry one copy of the defective gene that causes the disease.

On life expectency:

• In the 1980s life expectancy of people with cystic fibrosis was 14 years.
• 10 years back, the life expectancy of a person with cystic fibrosis was around 18 years. Today it is 35 years.
• The median life expectancy of a newborn with cystic fibrosis has increased from 4 years to 32 years. It has been estimated that there has been more than 10 year increase in the average life expectancy of affected people in North America.
• Over 90% of the affected infants now survive beyond one year. Studies show that life expectancy of children will exceed 40 years.
• Life expectancy of individuals with adequate pancreatic function can be more than 50 years.
• In the United States, approximately 30,000 people have cystic fibrosis. Around 1,000 new cases of cystic fibrosis are diagnosed each year. One child of every 3,500 is born with cystic fibrosis.
• In Canada, the overall cystic fibrosis birth rate from 1971-1970 was stable. From 1988, cystic fibrosis birth rate increased to a rate of 1 in 3,608. Cystic fibrosis birth rate is stable for the last few years.
• In the UK, cystic fibrosis birth is about 1 in 2400 and 4% of the people are cystic fibrosis carriers.
• 80% of patients are diagnosed by the age of three. 10% of patients are diagnosed at the age of 18 and 3% patients are diagnosed in adulthood.

 Canadian CF Facts:

One person dies from cystic fibrosis in Canada each week

Of the 40 patients that died in 2010, half were under 26 years old

One in every 3,600 children born in Canada has cystic fibrosis

60% of people with cystic fibrosis are diagnosed in the first year of life, and 90% by age 10

Approximately 4,000 individuals with cystic fibrosis attend one of the 42 specialized cystic fibrosis clinics across Canada

Cumulatively, CF patients spent over 20,000 days in hospital and attended nearly 15,000 clinic visits in 2010

One in 25 Canadians carries a defective version of the gene responsible for cystic fibrosis

More than 1,800 mutations in the CFTR gene have been identified, however nearly 90% of individuals with CF in Canada carry at least one copy of the most common CF-causing mutation, ΔF508

In the 1960’s, most children with cystic fibrosis did not live long enough to attend kindergarten

Today, half of all Canadians with cystic fibrosis are expected to live into their 40s and beyond

Nearly 60% of all individuals with cystic fibrosis in Canada are adults

85% of individuals with cystic fibrosis must take pancreatic enzymes to digest food and absorb nutrients

31% of female adults with cystic fibrosis and 19% of male adults with CF are classified as underweight

44 CF patients received transplants in 2010, more than double compared to a decade ago

Nearly half of all patients with cystic fibrosis are infected with harmful bacteria such as Staphylococcus aureus and/or Pseudomonas aeruginosa in their lungs

14% of all individuals with CF have CF-related diabetes (CFRD), and more than one quarter of CF individuals, 35 years of age and older, have CF-related diabetes

One step back...

Well.. time to face the music - Weigh in Thursday. I gained. *ugh* Only one pound - but I gained!! It's so depressing! It was a bad week - worse than last week for sure. Heck I'll own up and tell y'all that I ate an entire package of double stuffed Oreos in the span of 2 days - that I bought for my Fiancee! ... I am ashamed!

But I am getting back on track! Things are starting to get less stressful at home.. Got more wedding things done and bought which takes a load off. Got my bridesmaids situation fixed and even got my sons suit for the wedding!

And the best news of all - We put in an offer on another house and it got accepted! I actually haven't seen the house - with all the stress it's put on me I told Matt that I couldn't handle it any longer and told him that we needed to give up. He didn't agree so I told him if he wanted to continue that it was up to him. So we'll see where it goes from here. The house is in Jefferson - which is about an hour from where we are now. I would have to get a new job for sure - which is fine. I'm not loving either of my jobs as of right now. They are building a Hyvee that I could possibly transfer to and RUMORS are that they will be building a CASINO in the next year or two. That would be fantastic! As much drama as there was at the Wild Rose Casino I worked at, I do miss it. I miss the responsibilities I had and being in charge of something! I feel like I took a real step backwards career wise by moving out here, and hopefully that'll be a way for me to move forward again.

Well.. Speaking of work - I worked a total of 14 hrs today between the two jobs - and I'm doing it again tomorrow! I wanted to put together some CF facts but it'll have to wait until tomorrow.

65 Roses

Well it's May and it's the first time I am activity advocating for Cystic Fibrosis! May is CF month, and I plan on blogging as much as I can this month to get everyone I can educated about this disorder.

Cystic Fibrosis is nicknamed 'Sixty Five Roses' as it is easier for kids to pronounce. CF is an autosomal recessive genetic disorder that affects most the lungs, pancreas, liver, and intestine. The lungs are the hardest hit as they become filled with sticky mucus and are then more vulnerable to infection and bacteria. See CF is caused by a mutation in the gene for the protein 'cystic fibrosis transmembrane conductance regulator' (CFTR). This protein is required to regulate  sweat, digestive fluids, and mucus. Because of this mutation the cells in the body are not able to function as they should normally.

Nearly every system in the body are effected by CF. Lungs are constantly being filled with mucus and CF patients can usually be heard coughing quite frequently. This also effects the sinus cavity and can lead to nasal polyps. The pancreas also produces thick mucus which then blocks the exocrine ducts and leaves the organ useless. CF patients are usually unable to digest food normally, which leads to malnutrition. Calories are not absorbed normally and CF patients are usually on a constant battle to keep weight on. The damage to the pancreas can also lead to CFRD (Cystic Fibrosis Related Diabetes). Infertility is also common in CF - in both male and females.

And that's the basics! I will be back later with some more facts and statistics about Cystic Fibrosis! And I hope to get a 'Day in the Life of a CFer' sometime this month!

Our Wishing Tree

Okay - So I had this great idea to make this wishing tree and have this great tutorial! Well.. Ashley had more of a learning experience of her own. I will teach you what NOT to do when making a wishing tree! Haha!

First off - any time your going to do a project - I suggest you read ALL of the tutorial.. not just skim thru the pictures and decide you've figured it out! I also suggest you read all of the labels of all the materials you are going to be working with especially if it's something you've never used before!!

See I decided we were going to do a wishing tree instead of the usual guest book. First tutorial involved filling a pot with plaster of Paris. Well I had already had a barn wood planter made, which is not water tight. and I worried about the plaster leaking as it was drying. So then I saw another tutorial using spray foam. I already had a can here at the house and decided that I could totally just do that! So I got all my materials together and started making it up as I went along. Well, I quickly learned that you're only supposed to fill your container 1/3 of the way full. I came back to check on it and it was over flowing onto our hard wood floors. In a moment of panic I quickly started wiping it up with my hands and trying to get it off the floor and off the side of planter. With my hands covered in foam I quickly ran to the kitchen sick to wash it off. The moment I put water on this stuff it turned into a sticky tar that covered my entire hands. No matter how much I scrubbed my hands it just spread and remained super sticky. I then quickly got the can and read the label.. and there it clearly stated 'do not get in contact with skin. If contact occurs do not rinse with water. Use Acetone to remove from skin'. Crap. Acetone.. Nail polish remover!! I have some of that! ... WRONG. Hands covered in sticky tar I went searching thru our bathroom cupboards with no success. What kind of girl was I with no nail polish remover? That day I learned that my 3 year old son was pretty good at working my smart phone. I had to have him help me call daddy and put it on speaker phone. Of course Matt got a great laugh out of the whole thing, but when I told him that the foam was also on my engagement ring he was a little less than trilled. I still had 2 hours until he was out of work and could get me the nail polish remover. In about 15 minutes the foam had already started to harden. Which was good in a way - no more tar hands. But really it just meant that the crap was cemented to my hands. Even when Matt got home with the nail polish remover it did nothing. I literally soaked my hands in it and it took off maybe 50%. It has been almost a week now since it all and I finally have 90% of it off.

But yes - Here is my tutorial, of sorts...

First off here were my supplies:

 

• Hot Glue Gun + Glue Sticks
• Tree Branch (got mine here)
• Planter (or ceramic pot)
• Spray Foam
• Moss (Got mine here) (or some other decorative material)

 

First off I hot glued my tree branch in the box. Mine had a curve to it a bit so I glued it in the corner of the planter so I wouldn't have to hold it while the foam was drying.

 

Next for the spray foam. Here is where I made my critical mistake. As you can see I filled my container to the fill point I wanted - not realizing the stuff was going to EXPAND! And it does! About double, if not triple, the amount you started with. SO ONLY FILL YOUR CONTAINER 1/3 OF THE WAY! Trust me! And if you get the stuff on your hands DO NOT ADD WATER!!!

 

Well- I don't have any in between pictures. Everything got pretty chaotic at that point.. But about 4 hours after the foam dried I got glued the moss on to cover the foam. My foam over expanded down the side of my planter and I wasn't able to get it off - so I improvised a bit and made some moss 'creep' out of the planter and up the tree a bit. 

 

Sorry this is upside down - But I used my cricut machine to cut out tags. You could just buy shipping tags. Again I have another custom made tag from Etsy. If you wanted to save a lot of time they also have premade printed tags on Etsy! All depends on the amount of time you want to spend!

 

And here's my finished project! Even with all the chaos I'm pretty happy with it!

Another pound..

Well - Last week was another bad week. I think I let the 20lb loss get to my head and I slacked. Big time. In fact I was scared of yesterdays weigh in.. I was almost certain that I was going to have my first gain - but to my shock I had a loss. Just one pound - but a loss none the less.

Seems like as I'm losing weight off my body - I'm gaining weight in stress. Seems like I've always lived a high stress life - but this week has been rough. We have been without our normal amazing babysitter so my Javion's behavior has been off the wall. Back talking, tantrums, destructive behavior. Heck yesterday he decided to destroy his bedroom dresser! Reaching my breaking point. Today has been no different. He goes to his grandma's house this weekend however and she seems to have a no-nonsense way with him that usually gets him back into gear. Hopefully with some Grandma Boot camp this weekend and going back to our normal sitting starting Tuesday he'll start to get back to my lovable boy.

Matt and I have been working on trying to get a house. With our situation this is the best time for us. With his condition he won't always be able to work as much as he does now - so we're trying to take advantage of that in the financial department and lock in a home loan now while we can. Lord knows my credit will get us no where. However we keep running into hiccups. Of course it's all just one thing after another.

On top of it all Matt's doctor's appt yesterday wasn't the greatest. He got a bit of a cold right when he got out of the hospital so his PFTs aren't where they should be and his weight is already dropping again. His doctor doesn't seem too worried - but prescribed him some more meds, including an appetite stimulant. He's been getting better on his treatments - I've even been able to get him to start doing his vest! I've started bartering with him with a reward system.. haha! Seems to be working for now!

Had another hit last night as well - found out that my Maid of Honor will most likely not be able to make it to our wedding. With 7 weeks to go it really put me at a loss. Anxiety kicked in hard last night and I had a panic attack right in my kitchen. Luckily I have some great friends out here who are willing to step up at a moments notice. Javion's babysitter Amanda has really become a great friend to me over the last few months. I had already asked her to be my personal attendant, so moving her up to a bridesmaid was a no brainer. Now hopefully the rest of the wedding plans can remain stress free. I did have another snag yesterday - Matt's aunt is a hair dresser and I thought that she was going to be willing to help out with all of our hair for the wedding day, but she isn't. Can't blame her - I waited a while to even ask her and she isn't my normal hair stylist or anything.. So just something else I gotta figure out!!

I'm going to post a tutorial for the wishing tree I made a few days ago. I had some major problems with it - so it should be an interesting blog! Stay tuned!