Nov 25, 2015

Hello again

So I'm not sure why blogger keeps losing my images.. Ask post images and even my banner seem to be lost..

Moving forward

I'm trying to move forward again. Been almost 6 months since my last post and things have changed drastically yet again.. But here I still am trying to take charge of this life of mine..

Are we ready?

Apr 29, 2015

May's Challenges

Alrighty, like I said with the last post.. Each month I'm going to lay out 3 'Challenges' for myself, coming from my 3 key areas of self-improvement: Mental, Physical, and Dietary. Yes dietary is kind of physical, but I'll do whatever I want, so there! :) They say if you do the same thing for 30 days straight it's likely to become habit.. so I figure my challenges well hopefully develop into new healthy habits by the end of each month. Now I know I wont be perfect, and honestly I can't handle the possible on-coming mental breakdown due to possible failure.. Hence why just 3 challenges a month.. baby steps. So.. Let's get it started!!



The Challenge

I challenge myself to take all of my prescriptions 100% of time. 

I know this doesn't sound like a 'mental' one but I am on an anti-depressant as well, so it counts. I am horrible horrible horrible about taking meds regularly. I don't know why but I am.. And I was such a hypocrite to Matt because he too was horrible at remember to take ALLLLL his meds and I'd yell and yell at him for it. 

The Plan

I have daily pill caddys for both my AM and PM meds. I will keep these filled when they run out by refilling Sunday nights. 


The Challenge

I challenge myself to take a walk every day, weather permitting. 

Nothing big, nothing major. 20 minutes, 45 minutes, whatever I can do. Just get out there and walk.. Not only will this be good for me, but Javion get's to ride his bike and the dog gets walked. Bubby needs an outlet for her energy and Javion absolutely loves riding his bike and spending time outside. I am teaching him and setting a good example as well. 

The Plan

Integrating a walk into our usual routine, in place of TV time. Typically we get home around 5, eat supper, and watch TV until 8:30. We will from now on go on a walk after supper Monday-Friday. Weekends we will try to get our walks in more in the morning times if possible. I will track these walks using a tracker on my phone and post to the best of my ability. 


The Challenge

I challenge myself to drink half my body weight in ounces of water, on a daily basis.

So here it is.. I've gained it all back and I'm back to 255lbs, Gosh that really sucked to type. But yes, sad but true I've regressed terribly. Getting back on topic, that means I will need to drink 128 ounces of water a day, which so happens to be exactly one gallon. By doing this I hope to make less room for pop, and of course all the other health benefits of drinking water. 

The Plan

I will measure and track all water drank. This will only count as plain water, or water infused/flavored with natural fruit. I will track my water consumption with a tracker on my phone and post to the best of my ability.

Getting back on the saddle

I keep putting you off.. putting it to the back of my mind.. Saying I'll start over again soon..

Well I've gained. And gained and gained and gained. I've gotten so disgusted with myself that I gave up on everything. All I drink is pop. I don't care what or when I eat or how much. I just don't care. Hitting rock bottom again.

The grieving process often makes no sense. It seems like the first 5 months were a heck of a lot easier after Matt passed away the the last 5 months have been. Last week I think I really just bottomed out. Every aspect of my life I felt was falling apart. Stress at home, stress at work, stress everywhere. And I imploded.. about 100x. To the point I even got pulled aside at work. I finally gave in and went to the doctor. She had put me on a low dose of Zoloft a few months ago but me, being me, slacked around in taking it, as I do all my beds, and wrote it off as not helping. Well after blowing through my entire bottle of 'emergency' PRN Xanax last week I realized I needed something more stable. So she increased the Zoloft and my PRN Xanax and even my blood pressure medication all in hopes to get me calmed down, in control, and to help combat my migraines and get me sleeping better.

So there's the mental side of things. Now.. Physical and diet. I quit WW months ago when I stopped tracking. Tracking is fun almost for the first months.. then it gets annoying.. then it gets daunting. I like the idea of it, but really right now, I need easy. I need comfortable. I need something that I don't feel anxious about trying to maintain. I really can't DIET right now. I know that sounds like an excuse, and it probably is, but mentally I'm in so many places I just can't handle another 'job'.

I've decided to start monthly 'challenges'. They say it takes 30 days to form a habit.. so each month I'm going to start a new 'habit' and start challenging myself more. I'm going to try to make 3 challenges a month, one from each of my self improvement categories: Mental, Dietary, and Physical.  May 1st is just around the corner so what a wonderful time to start! Besides my 'challenges' I am also going to try to make a very conscious effort to at the very least WATCH what I'm eating, be AWARE of how I'm treating myself, and keep MOVING as much as I can.

SO... stay tuned. Things are going to start moving and shaking again!!